Say No to Detoxing

A recent post by Jezebel reminded me of a moment in mine single days…

When I was in my early 20s, I would follow The Master Cleanse diet. Although it wasn’t really a diet. I lost a total of 5 pounds. And it was the best colonic I could ever have.  However, after scouring the internet for alternatives and guides, I have determined that the only thing I need to do is be more mindful of my food intake and activity export.


“Alcohol doesn’t count.”

“Haha, you have to start over.”

“You’re supposed to carry that around everywhere.”

“This is the only way to transition to vegan.”

Those quotes were from an old friend of mine that is no more. He was always skinny, somewhat lean. But he always wanted to do the next organic health fad.  After looking at his grocery bills, I stopped following the ‘peer pressure’ logic of being the thin ‘friend’.

And I, of course, was his ride to the Food Co-Op. Man, I used to spend  HOURS inside the Co-Op with him while he was slowly grocery shopping. I would watch him cradle the book in the child seat as if it was a bouncy 6-month-old, and turn a few pages to a recipe. Then he would slowly walk around the store to buy the ingredients for the recipe.  I’ve clocked about 5 hours in this place. And to kick it off, it was the first Saturday of the month. If you do not know what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky. Busiest day of the month with a rowdy 3-year-old and a vegan health freak isn’t my forte. Luckily at that time I didn’t have anything better to do.

After ending that friendship, I began to casually search the internet and learn about health in general. It was then I came across the Nutrition Diva at Quick and Dirty Tips.  Her tips were the first podcast I had every listened to. She did a podcast episode on the Cleanse; I was honestly shocked at what I heard.

Thirdly, cleansing does not necessarily enhance the health of the colon. Most colon cleanse programs are basically laxatives, administered from one end or the other. Taking laxatives, especially if you’re not constipated, isn’t a great idea. They can disrupt fluid and electrolyte balance and piss off the beneficial bacteria in your intestines. Regular use of laxatives can also, ironically, make you constipated. – Monica Reinagel, M.S.,L.D./N, Nutrition Diva

I still catch illnesses due to that month of wasted life.  Don’t screw yourself up like I did. Work on a lifestyle overhaul instead of ‘get thin quick scheme’.